My Crappy Romance Story

by Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures (Harlequin Nonfiction)

amber dusick parenting illustrated with crappy pictures 0413-9780373892747-bigwMy illustrated humor book, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, was just published by Harlequin Nonfiction this week. The ‘nonfiction’ part of the publisher’s name is important because otherwise people get confused and ask me if I wrote a romance novel.

But maybe this is the universe telling me that I should write a romance novel. I mean, I have my foot in the door, right? Sorta?

I could totally do it.

This is my romance novel outline…

There is a beautiful damsel in distress. She has a name like Ambrosia or Velouria. Her cleavage heaves. Her flaxen hair bounces around her shoulders and stuff like that. This chick is hot.

She is chained up. I’m not sure who chained her up. I haven’t figured this part out yet. It doesn’t really matter.

Then a dude with muscles shows up.

He has a sword. Isn’t there always a sword? He is a rough pirate who will never settle down.

But he is captivated by her beauty. Intoxicated…

He firmly grasps her tiny waist and she trembles in fear and….

Huh?

Then their two kids enter the room and reality returns.

And this? This is why I’ll stick with parenting humor. For now.

(And it doesn’t escape me that since this is appearing on Harlequin’s blog they so TOTALLY just published my crappy romance story. See? It was meant to be. I was made for this.)

Check out the official book trailer for Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick from Harlequin Nonfiction!

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Comments ( 17 )
  1. Farah
    March 28, 2013 at 12:49 am
    Reply

    hahaha I love how the damsel and her saver shrink back to normal proportions ๐Ÿ™‚ Ordering your book soon!

  2. Meggin D
    March 28, 2013 at 1:08 am
    Reply

    Amber, you are a genius! And that’s a pretty great romance story ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Stephanie
    March 28, 2013 at 1:09 am
    Reply

    Loved it!!!! Lol. You’re awesome :”) You should totally finish the romance story ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Chelsie
    March 28, 2013 at 1:15 am
    Reply

    I LOVE the little trailer!! You could animate more scenarios from your blog and post them on YouTube and be super famous there too. Please oh please!! I realllllllly loved it ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. sophie walker
    March 28, 2013 at 1:24 am
    Reply

    Love it. Our romance stories would all happen in whispers…in case we woke a toddler up :s

  6. Jamie
    March 28, 2013 at 1:33 am
    Reply

    Does that happen to be a lightsaber Crappy Papa is holding?? Haha Awesome post!

  7. Charlene Fisher
    March 28, 2013 at 1:35 am
    Reply

    And the window was slammed shut so fast it almost took off your fingers. LOVE IT. Especially after reading the post about open windows and such. That’s become a private joke between my hubs and I now, and I have it saved on my phone so everyone I see can read it.

  8. Jean Russell
    March 28, 2013 at 2:37 am
    Reply

    We love you…will you come live with us?

  9. Gundula
    March 28, 2013 at 3:18 am
    Reply

    HAHA! At the “End” of the trailer where CrappyBaby says “Again” my 3yr old said: “AGAIN!” ๐Ÿ™‚
    Keep this crappy stuff coming, will you?
    Greetings from across the ocean frm Switzerland!

  10. Ashley
    March 28, 2013 at 4:49 am
    Reply

    Perhaps if you just put on “The Princess Bride”, crappy boys would be entertained long enough for Westley and Princess Buttercup to complete that scene. Quickly and quietly. With Andre the Giant guarding the bedroom door.

  11. Mary
    March 28, 2013 at 8:51 am
    Reply

    Been following your blog. Congrats, you’re gonna be a star and you deserve it! You’ve achieved what every artist dreams of…success…with stick figures and humor!

  12. Woolies
    March 28, 2013 at 9:19 am
    Reply

    Do it! Write a romance novel! Illustrated with crappy pictures! I’d totally buy it!
    (BTW had to take kid to dentist yesterday and had JUST gotten my brand new fresh out of the box BOOK by Amber Dusick and read most of it in the dentist lobby, with people looking at me wondering what was so damn funny!)

  13. KatyA
    March 28, 2013 at 9:22 am
    Reply

    I love your blog and can’t wait to get the book for when my lil ones take over the computer.

  14. Shannon
    March 28, 2013 at 9:39 am
    Reply

    I LOVE the differences between the last two pictures…just one more reason why this blog is so freakin’ hilarious. I have already finished your book, so thanks for this! I was sad that it was over but this just keeps the laughs going. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Lola Karns
    March 28, 2013 at 10:19 am
    Reply

    Congratulations! I can’t wait to buy lots of copies of this book to share with my parent friends.

  16. Gen
    March 28, 2013 at 10:59 am
    Reply

    Amber, I love your blog, and I can’t wait to get your book. I have to say, I almost wet myself, because I was laughing so hard when the kids came into the picture. So funny!

  17. Rufiya Blank
    March 28, 2013 at 12:14 pm
    Reply

    Amber, you made my day! Love your blog, good luck!

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